Friday, July 8, 2011

Tuna Salad ALA LyonHart

You know, the hardest thing about a diet to me has always been missing things I'm used to and things I love. I've always gone off diets before because I craved the stuff I was keeping from myself, and when I went off I went off big. This time I've been more sucessful by instead of shunning everything, trying to find ways to enjoy things in a healthier manner. Some stuff like bacon cheeseburgers are notably off the list, sure, but there is plenty of good things out there to sub with. For example I love hot dogs on the weekend. It's easy to get fat free turkey hot dogs pretty much anywhere that taste great (the fat free beef hotdogs taste like a dead dog's dick, be warned) and a can of bushes vegetarian baked beans, or the store brand equivalant, which is fat free as well. These both do have a little too much sodium and sugars and such, so i stick to the weekend for those, but there is one compromise recipe that is so healthy I've worked it into my weekday regimen with delicious and satisfying results. I feel bad for you if you've read all this to this point and hate tunafish, cause I love it, and that is what my recipe is for, a satisfying tuna sandwich with almost no fat, and a near trivial number of calories that tastes great and wont leave you hungry. Without any further ado, Tuna Salad ALA LyonHart!

Now I know what you are saying "hey what was that again, you mumble mouthed prick?" well here is a quick recap in text form.

You need...

2 cans of chunk light tuna (or white, whatever racists...)
2 Tbsp of Pickle Relish
1/2 Tbsp of Dijon Mustard
1/2 Tbsp of Light Mayo (or full mayo, its so little it dont really matter)
1/2 cup of plain non-fat yogurt

You mix all that up real good, get everything nice and evenly distributed, put it in a tupperware, and you've got yourself 5 sammiches ready to roll for the week. Toss it on some whole grain bread (with no high fructose corn syrup, god dammit!) and enjoy.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Bad Knees and Fatness, two great tastes that taste great together!

I'm no athlete, I've never been. I'm strong, and I can put some power down when i need to, but I'm not a sports guy. I learned this as a child many times over. I got hit the face with a baseball playing right field, I would consistently run the wrong way playing soccer, and then while playing volleyball in gym class in seventh grade, I jumped, came down all sorts of weird, and blew out my knee.

I remember at the time no one believed me. I howled in pain and people around me were like "come on, man, get up!" as if they couldn't understand how anyone could get seriously hurt jumping up and down, but I did. After I spent some time in the nurses office trying to convince her I was actually injured and not just fucking around, she called my mother and we went to the doctor. The total damage was a torn MCL, and Torn meniscus. The MCL isn't all that big a deal, It's a ligament that runs down the outside of the knee, to keep it from slipping, with it torn basically I need to wear a brace when I'm doing lateral movement. It's the meniscus that's a bitch.

See that is the meniscus right there, that layer of cartilage between the top and bottom of the knee. Highlighted are the two sorts of tears you can get in the meniscus. Lucky me, I got both in various places. The bucket tears are however not that big a deal, they weaken the meniscus a little and can lead to arthritis, but the flap tears are the ones that suck hard. They are the reason I'm writing this post, and the excuse I'm going to use for not having lost any weight since my last weigh in.

See when a flap tear gets inflamed, like mine did a couple weeks back, it starts to move around in the joint, and gets caught in the joint as it opens and closes. That hurts... a lot... So over the last couple weeks I've been playing Russian roulette when i stand up with whether or not the meniscus flap would get jammed in my knee joint and walking would either be normal, or a painful disaster. There is no real way to stop it when it gets like this other than to move your knee around a lot and try and get it out of there.

So yeah, I'm still at 340, as of two days ago when I went to the doctor, and she gave me some anti-inflammatory for my knee. It feels good now, and this week I'll be getting back at it, so look for more posts to come. Hopefully this story makes you feel better about yourself if you have fully functional knees.